If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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