My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
