im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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