Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize