so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
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