Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
