I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize