TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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