At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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