I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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