And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Walk of Shame today included voting.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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