She announced her abortion via fbk
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
