Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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