we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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