she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
