you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
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hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
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Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.