Texts From Last Night

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  (706): View more from Georgia

  i would punch a child for taco bell

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  (706): i would punch a child for taco bell http://tfl.nu/lkky
  Replies (41) Good night (5703) Bad night (1145)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B

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  (305): I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B http://tfl.nu/epjn
  Replies (35) Good night (1226) Bad night (3558)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?

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  (720): how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot? http://tfl.nu/rnjj
  Replies (17) Good night (794) Bad night (3118)
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  (619): View more from California

  reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy

  (1-619): View more from California

  sounds legit

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  (619): reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy (1-619): sounds legit http://tfl.nu/fo9p
  Replies (27) Good night (4373) Bad night (1192)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?

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  (519): and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra? http://tfl.nu/qq09
  Replies (5) Good night (2699) Bad night (846)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.

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  (973): My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year. http://tfl.nu/yrzl
  Replies (10) Good night (2028) Bad night (3416)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!

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  (434): A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!! http://tfl.nu/y0d6
  Replies (4) Good night (2378) Bad night (949)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat

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  (717): Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat http://tfl.nu/dsa2
  Replies (7) Good night (1763) Bad night (986)
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  (845): View more from New York

  This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.

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  (845): This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way. http://tfl.nu/f18r
  Replies (3) Good night (1370) Bad night (821)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.

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  (206): Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience. http://tfl.nu/kvcy
  Replies (5) Good night (1126) Bad night (596)
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  (858): View more from California

  He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"

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  (858): He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup" http://tfl.nu/blqz
  Replies (2) Good night (928) Bad night (400)
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  (408): View more from California

  I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed

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  (408): I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed http://tfl.nu/4u9t
  Replies (0) Good night (611) Bad night (316)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.

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  (260): Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message. http://tfl.nu/4llk
  Replies (1) Good night (755) Bad night (346)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  there was so much lube in my brother's closet...

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  (847): there was so much lube in my brother's closet... http://tfl.nu/yytv
  Replies (2) Good night (459) Bad night (1027)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...

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  (850): she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top... http://tfl.nu/vvwb
  Replies (3) Good night (322) Bad night (765)

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