please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
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I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
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I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked