Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?

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  (303): If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom? http://tfl.nu/ym23
  Replies (24) Good night (716) Bad night (4411)
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  (415): View more from California

  Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.

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  (415): Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it. http://tfl.nu/inu8
  Replies (10) Good night (5323) Bad night (679)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high

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  (321): my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high http://tfl.nu/1lyw
  Replies (24) Good night (4894) Bad night (863)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  be sure to add "office slut" to your resume

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  (703): he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh (1-703): be sure to add "office slut" to your resume http://tfl.nu/3kje
  Replies (10) Good night (4810) Bad night (1027)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack

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  (208): please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack http://tfl.nu/5yj9
  Replies (4) Good night (1134) Bad night (2218)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.

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  (217): I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong. http://tfl.nu/7bl9
  Replies (7) Good night (1080) Bad night (2610)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.

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  (513): Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through. http://tfl.nu/9dxn
  Replies (3) Good night (873) Bad night (1729)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy

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  (217): I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy http://tfl.nu/0wt3
  Replies (5) Good night (1592) Bad night (599)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent

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  (636): Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent http://tfl.nu/1tsa
  Replies (12) Good night (1999) Bad night (751)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell

  (1-704): View more from North Carolina

  Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those

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  (704): Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell (1-704): Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those http://tfl.nu/iyze
  Replies (4) Good night (1700) Bad night (892)
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  (646): View more from New York

  There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Delicious

  (646): View more from New York

  I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.

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  (646): There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table. (917): Delicious (646): I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt. http://tfl.nu/gs74
  Replies (5) Good night (1254) Bad night (1178)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?

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  (859): Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed? http://tfl.nu/3iaa
  Replies (7) Good night (367) Bad night (975)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?

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  (267): Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am? http://tfl.nu/20h1
  Replies (1) Good night (1137) Bad night (324)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.

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  (601): This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt. http://tfl.nu/idus
  Replies (4) Good night (260) Bad night (563)
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  (408): View more from California

  im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake

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  (408): im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake http://tfl.nu/9w4m
  Replies (1) Good night (579) Bad night (234)

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