I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
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She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
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All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.