Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
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