We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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