Texts From Last Night

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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.

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  (971): I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one. http://tfl.nu/nv72
  Replies (17) Good night (3865) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview

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  (514): in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview http://tfl.nu/us78
  Replies (19) Good night (1023) Bad night (3566)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special

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  (781): my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special http://tfl.nu/2mea
  Replies (63) Good night (16399) Bad night (1954)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.

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  (914): I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned. http://tfl.nu/hdoa
  Replies (10) Good night (1360) Bad night (4894)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.

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  (207): I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something. http://tfl.nu/x6k7
  Replies (21) Good night (6846) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids

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  (773): halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids http://tfl.nu/g564
  Replies (19) Good night (4386) Bad night (1425)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.

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  (774): and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date. http://tfl.nu/kedp
  Replies (15) Good night (3310) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.

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  (404): I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE. http://tfl.nu/pyvt
  Replies (38) Good night (7769) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back

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  (602): Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back http://tfl.nu/8iy3
  Replies (2) Good night (2316) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today

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  (903): The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today http://tfl.nu/xr2c
  Replies (4) Good night (1620) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.

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  (423): I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit. http://tfl.nu/5kq2
  Replies (11) Good night (1475) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Is she still in your room?

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.

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  (978): Is she still in your room? (1-978): Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature. http://tfl.nu/vxhf
  Replies (8) Good night (2021) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.

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  (601): Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you. http://tfl.nu/w325
  Replies (3) Good night (620) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yesterday you said I was the best.

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.

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  (570): Yesterday you said I was the best. (1-570): No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference. http://tfl.nu/was6
  Replies (3) Good night (647) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.

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  (540): It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch. http://tfl.nu/7b1x
  Replies (2) Good night (413) Bad night (577)

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