I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.