Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
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We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
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got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's