How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
