So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
