Buhtt sex?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I need to wash the frat house off of me
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize