Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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