sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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