ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
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constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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