I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
