i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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