i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
