I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
