she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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