how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize