So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
