He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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