Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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