Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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