We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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