you guys were way drunker than both of me
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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