youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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