so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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