his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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