I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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