I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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