I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
