I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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