Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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