The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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