do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
