Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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