I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
