shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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