i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
