I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
