well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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