Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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