It's like a parade of train wrecks.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
