Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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