I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
